My spouse told me they have BIID what should I do?

This answer is also true if a sibling, a child, a friend or a colleague tells you they have body integrity identity disorder.

First you must realise that it was most likely one of the most difficult thing to do for the person who told you. You may be feeling that your trust was breached, particularly if you've known this person for a long time and they haven't told you about BIID. They didn't tell you because they were afraid of your reaction. Consider that if you "cut them off", you will simply validate their fears. Often a transabled individual doesn't tell their loved one because they are feeling ashamed and guilty of having BIID.

It is a difficult thing to understand, and many transabled individuals don't understand their own feelings. It is therefore more likely that what your loved one is wanting is acceptance rather than understanding. It is natural to feel upset, and you should feel free to express that, and ask for some time to process this information. At the same time, you should appreciate their coming out with the value it has: it shows tremendous trust.

The fact that you are reading this web page shows that you are already wanting to learn more about the condition. As much as you can learn about BIID from a website, understand that ultimately, discussing the issues directly with your spouse, child, sibling, or friend is the only way to really move forward in accepting their condition.

The worst thing you could do is to avoid discussion, try to talk the person out of any action and to warn of dire consequences of their action. A spouse, for instance, does not want to be told you will leave them if they become an amputee. Remember, they are already disabled and rather than being able to aquire the impairment they need, they may simply suicide. Ask yourself "Are people with disabilities happy?"

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