Not about attention

(Redirected from Is it about attention?)

There are many people who assume that our desire is about getting more attention. It seems an easy assumption to make. In fact, even some of us thought that a need for attention was a major part of our need.

The thing is, to paraphrase someone on a forum, "I'd rather be paralysed and in a room by myself than able-bodied in front of thousands of people giving me positive attention".

While there is often a lot of attention involved in using a wheelchair, there is also a huge "invisible" factor. People don't see you as a person with a disability. Furthermore, anyone who has spent some time pretending also knows that a person who is perceived as disabled gets as much negative attention (including being pointedly ignored), as positive attention, if not more. And yet, pretenders still wish to pretend.

It isn't about getting attention. It is about being oneself. And if we appear to thrive on attention while pretending, it might just be that pretending gets us that much closer to being who we are, and that makes us happy and comfortable. It is easy to confuse that happiness and comfort with enjoying the attention.

Personal tools